pics

Jun. 15th, 2007 05:15 pm
slyyder: (Default)
some new shots taken today... thanks to the photographer "S" for that, a lot easier to relax and take a good shot when you have someone else to run the camera, rather than have to set your shot. then the timer, then run into position, doing it all yourself lol

plus "S" is damn good at what she does, for someone doing it just for fun, have seen her photos just getting better and better... so thanks "S" (yeah I know you'll be here lurking and watching ;-) lol)

more to come later, just a couple for now...

pics here (all worksafe) )
slyyder: (Default)
Hmmm guess I didn't scrub up too bad last night... lol actually turned out to be a couple of semi-decent pics... still need some better/more flattering ones though maybe...

under cut for size only, all work safe )
slyyder: (Default)
Ok, I dont know right now whether I am rightfully frustrated and annoyed, or if I'm over-reacting and being stupid, or what...

Have some friends I go out with occasionally, used to be every few months or so we'd go into the city to our usual pub there (E&W for any locals) for a night out... havent dont it in a while, due to relationships and marriage preps etc... and the fact thast yeah with most of that group I am probably not as in the group, just close to only one or two... L is the one I know and have known for a few years and am friends with, the others are mostly her fiancée and all guys he works with or has worked with up on the mines and their partners etc... they as a group are closer and do more things together, dinners etc, mostly couples etc, the usual stuff...

Anyway early last week I caught up with L online, and she mentioned they were considering heading into town this weekend so to keep things free if interested... so I said sure, np, just let me know when its all decided... hadnt heard anything back all week, until I e-mailed her something else on Friday, and when she replied to that i then asked what was happening... to then be told "oh no one of the other guys has decided he's going to have a bbq instead, so we're going there"...

Now at that time I was a little pissed... not so much for not being invited to the BBQ and part of that, more so about waiting to hear back, having to chase her up, to find out other plans had been made, that she didn't even think about letting me know til I asked... and she had been online while i was on msn the few days in between, including thursday night, though we hadnt chatted...

but thinking on it over the weekend, was trying to work out why i was feeling annoyed and frustrated, and whether it was legitimate... partly I think I'm feeling like a hanger on, a fringe friend who's invited to and included in some things (and this was the same group I was out with on NYE so not as if am never included) but not in others... invited as an after-thought, to be allowed to tag along sometimes... or maybe its just the fact i wasnt kept up to date on whats happening and told thats really brought that on, and even with that am over-reacting, and she may have just been busy/forgot...

But I think the one thing i decided on was that i do need to find other friends, or social outlets, besides just waiting on the occasional night with this group and going out to watch my brothers band... not to replace those, but to just add to and give me more social outlets, and not leave me feel so frustrated... I guess thats part of growing into situations where all your single friends change to couples with friends as couples and/or kids or whatever, and a lack of single friends...

or maybe I just need to stop whining and accept that things sometimes fall down... lol

{edit} because i forgot to add the next part of the story...

I did get an e-mail today saying "as some of us discussed last night, the plan is to go into town on Australia day night to the E&W"...

thats part of what added to the hanger on feeling noted above... setting aside all the issues i saw with heading into the city with all the chaos and craziness of the hundreds of thousands in there for the sky show... but guess i should just feel glad to be asked and included huh? *S*
slyyder: (Default)
Was chatting with one of the young 19-20 somethings at work the other day, and somehow the subject of age came up, specifically mine... and she didn't believe i was 35, even had to pull out my drivers license and show her! (ok dont think I HAD to go to that extent but did anyway lol) No she said she had always assumed i was only in my early 20's...

Now my reaction in thinking on that floated netween two points... do I take it as a compliment, particularly on a pure physical level? Or do I feel a little concerned that I must act so immature or whatever to be taken as that age? Or I guess just try and accept a balance between the two...

a few long rambling paragraphs under here to develop on my thoughts and reactions )

Which gets me back to my earlier point of how people view and react to me based just on the numbers and facts rather than who I am... but then who am I anyway? I dont know... sometimes i think an old quote of Winston Churchill's works best, that of "a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma"... now ok he was talking about Russia at the time which may not be the best comparison lol but hey... but it is something that needs to be kept in mind, especially when dealing with online profiles etc where so much is on pure facts and figures and numbers as opposed to taking ongoing time dealing with and getting to knowing the person themselves... but I guess even to a point this does still flow over in to RT meetings and interactions as well...

Not sure where I have gone with this, save maybe just a chance to ramble out some stream of conciousness type post on all sorts of matters... or maybe it was purely just the ego in me wanting to post and boast about being taken as only being in my early 20's!!!

Finances

Oct. 17th, 2006 11:53 pm
slyyder: (Default)
current car/personal loan almost repaid, so....

debt consolidation
new loan or top up
how much
how long
how much extra for bits and pieces
or keep to minimum


what to do...
slyyder: (Default)
always seems a bit like that... had nothing in ages, then 2 responses to my profile/s on dating sites in the last couple of weeks, leading to a lunch with one yesterday and coffee tonight with another... both enjoyable enough, will see what if anything further happens... though neither jumped out as anything special or definite... but even if not, is good to get out, socialise, good practice as well in a sense *S*

What it has made me do is look and re-evaluate what I may want or look for in a potential partner... I'm not one whose thought that a couple must have nearly everything in common, interests, thoughts, ideas, passions, whatever... some for sure, but not all... but this has made me look more at what, or how much, as well as maybe re-look at myself and whats key and important to me...

As anyone on here would know and have seen, sport and in particular my football is a key factor to me and my life... but its not my be all and end all, so have always thought that as long as there was at least a lot of other stuff in common and maybe an acceptance of that being important for me, that that would be enough... but am beggining to wonder more if a interest and passion for sport is more of a deal breaker, that an understanding of the passion for it at least is needed... wondering where something changes from becoming something to be accepted to something that has to be shared...
slyyder: (Default)
As a starting point, this journal... what to do with it, how to use it, make the most of it...

For too long I think i have focussed on it too much as purely an entertainment tool... either through reading others posts... or trying to entertain others through my posts... or entertain myself through getting comments on my posts... all too often leading to frustration when things dont go that way, and blaming others for this, rather than accepting blame upon myself, and/or just accepting others for who they are and what they feel they can or want to give...

Time to accept that unlike some others, I'm not going to ever end up with a friends list in the hundreds, having to wade through masses of comments on my posts... and that that is not something I need or should desire anyway, that it should be more about me, about me being myself.. and if people enjoy that enough to stay around and be a part of that, great, if not, then trying to force them or put on an act to keep them isnt going to work... time to be happy making this journal about be just being me (which it mostly has anyway, this is more about being happy with that choice) rather than trying to put on an act or persona to entertain the masses (and this is in no way a shot to any out there who do that, and/or have large friends lists, even if the journal is personal/honest... nothing wrong with any of that, this is just about me being me and doing whats right for me)

I've often said, be it in relation to LJ or other things/relationships/areas... that it is about quality rather than quantity... that it is much more important to connect with and have a high quality of interaction with those around you (as i know i do with some here *S*) than to have a huge number of people around... and while i have always meant it, at least on some level, there has always been that negative, that doubt, hat desire to just be popular, that has snuck in at times, undermining the words and thoughts... but no, now I am staying positive, and working to not just say the words, to think and act that way, but to beleive them and be happy with my choice...

So, thats me, thats where i am heading... for those that are already here and want to stay round to see where this journey goes, your more than welcome, I'm not leaving LJ or shunning anyone... I still and always will value your honest thoughts, comments and opinions, be it from some of the true, close friends i have here, to the more casual acquaintance... this is more about accepting what comes, not getting angry/frustrated and blaming myself, or others fora lack of comments or responses or whatever... about making the most of this journal, and of this life...

And if anyone does feel its time to move on, either now or later, thats cool, thats part of life, we grow and change, and as part of that some friendships stay, some grow stronger, while others fade and drift away, enjoyable and pleasing (at least hopefully so) while it lasted... not all interactions are meant to go on forever... hopefully whatever direction life takes you is for the best, and helps you make out of life what you desire *S*
slyyder: (Default)
I'm tired...
I'm tired of feeling down and lonely...
I'm tired of starting things but for whatever reason not following through and finishing them...
I'm tired ofof taking out my own doubts and frustrations on others, either directly or just in my own mind...
I'm tired of this gut...
I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself, yet doing nothing about it...
I'm tired of feeling, well, tired and flat and unfit and unhealthy...
I'm tired of talking the talk, but not walking the walk...

So, for starters, a list of things to do....

Feel and act more happy, confident, and positive... and not just say the words, but actually feel them and beleive them
Take action to lose weight in general, from my stomach in particular, and improve my general health and fitness...
Improve and expand my diet (part of the previous, but also above and beyond that)
Make a concerted effort to fully complete one or two tasks minimum each day, even if small and insignificant, rather than leave things half done
Sleep better and more regular
Make positive and proactive steps towards my future, be it study and/or changing jobs and/or changing things at this job
Work on acting more, and thinking less, or more not overthinking... while keeping in mind this is a fault I need to stay aware of...
Take more responsibility for my own life/place/stiuation, rather then laying the blame on others and/or fate...
Let go of things in my life that are not healthy, or no longer working, or past their used by date... be they people/places/activities/thoughts/whatever...

And work on keeping this list fresh in my mind, at the forefront of what I do and whoI am... not let it become another pile of good intentions thats left on the side of lifes road to rot and waste away... while also letting the list be fresh, maleable, organic, to change and adjust as I do...

I'm tired of being tired and frustrated... so I'm working to be a better me, the best me I can be each day, with little or no restrictions or reservations, letting me go wherever I feel like going... as long as its somewhere, and forward, rather than stagnant...

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slyyder: (Default)
slyyder

December 2010

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