Mar. 16th, 2010 08:43 pm
slyyder: (LJ Thinking)
When you push on the things that make you afraid--when you deliberately expose yourself to those things--you rob them of their power. On the other hand, when you give in to those fears, or (worse yet) when you pass relationship rules designed to hide the things you're afraid of--"No kissing when I am around!"--you reinforce those fears, and you allow them to control your life. Building your life around your fears is not an effective strategy for leading a happy life; and maneuvering your partner's behavior around your fears is not a good strategy for building a happy relationship..

[livejournal.com profile] tacit / Franklin Veaux

How to Become a Secure Person
slyyder: (LJ Thinking)
A longer passage this time, but then a lot of this hit home...

Part of living in reality is having the wisdom to pick out friends and lovers with whom you have a flow and a feeling of mutuality. Sometimes friendships are instantaneous, similar to falling in love, we meet a kindred spirit and feel a strong liking that continues for years. Sometimes those instantaneous feelings can mislead us. Other times friendships can evolve over time.

You can't make a friendship happen. Friendships are gifts that evolve with their own flow, rythym and pace. You can help them along by reciprocating and doing your part, but the magnetism happens a its own level. Even so, we need to moderate our instant attractions to others with wisdom from our past.

continued under the cut )

As you are creating a circle of friends and lovers, reach out, join in the dance, bring your wisest self into the conversation, be willing to reflect on yourself, and go toward that which helps you find out what a precious jewel you are.

To quote the Sufi poet Hafiz,

We have not come here to take prisoners,
but to surrender ever more deeply to freedom and joy...
Run my dear
from anything
that may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings

For we have not come here to take prisoners
Or to confine our wondrous spirits
But to experience ever and ever more deeply
Our divine courage, freedom, and Light!
slyyder: (Default)
well been around still, but quiet here on LJ... but am still alive :-)

and as has probably been noted from the last few posts am back to my reading and growing and exploring mode... and will probably be doing this a little more often, re-quoting passages, paragraphs etc from whatever I am reading on here so I can come back to them later... at the moment there is a few and they are coming regularly, that may or may not continue...

However I know not everyone wants to see or read repeats like that, especially if coming regularly... so am happy to set up a filter and keep them under that if anyone would prefer. Leave a comment if either you want to make sure you do get included if they become filtered, and/or if you would rather I kept them to a locked filter. Comments are screened and will be kept private.

Now back to actually doing some real work...

{edit} you know what, I hate the hassle of screened replies, and dont know why I was so self concious so as to do that in the first place, so am changing that. If you would rather say something not public then just message or email me.
slyyder: (Default)
Many people distort truth to gain approval, impress people, cover their shame, or avoid getting in trouble. Deception is often a bad habit that was modeled by our parents. We say we're fine when we feel lousy. We say we don't need help when we do. We dramatize a story to get sympathy. In other words, we get short-term gains but sustain long-term losses of integrity.

Not being truthful reflects fear and a lack of inner awareness, atunement to physical sensations, emotions and self-acceptance. Indeed, being truthful is tantamount to self-acceptance. If I tell you who I am without exaggerating or diminishing anything, I am fully present to you. I am not ashamed, afraid, or needing to "buy" the relationship in any way.

Charlotte Kasl, If the Bhudda Got Stuck
slyyder: (YY Rb)
Our concept that the sun rises is an illusion because the sun is still and we increasingly see it on the horizon as the earth turns towards the east. To play with this idea, the next time you watch the "sun rise" shift your focus and imagine yourself sitting on the earth as it turns toward the east with the sun coming into view. You can do the reverse with a sunset. The deeper purpose of this exploration is to get in the habit of rattling your mind and always entertaining the idea that a different perspective exists, possibly one beyond your comprehension. To get beyond your stuck place you repeatedly ask "Is there some bigger truth beyond my grasp that I am unable to see from where I am standing?".

Charlotte Kasl, If the Bhudda Got Stuck
slyyder: (Default)
Seeing clearly in reality helps us make wise choices. We're right here in present time, seeing people and situations as they are without superimposing past images, expectations, or interpretations. Reality includes seeing a situation from many sides so you can make reasoned decisions based on a whole picture, not just a fragment of reality. It's like walking out of a very limited, murky space into a clear sunny day and looking in all directions.

Charlotte Kasl, If The Bhudda Got Stuck
slyyder: (Default)
When you get upset, afraid, or obsessed, it's not bad, it's a message. Sometimes it's a scream from within saying Notice me, stop hiding from me, I need your attention. Become fascinated by and curious about your inner world, bring minute-to-minute awareness of your judgements, reactions,fears, and hurts, without shame or saying "I shouldn't feel that way." How you feel is how you feel, what you think is what you think. Instead of stopping the flow of those thoughts and feelings, be with them, observe them, explore their origins. They are your teachers. All transformation starts from awareness.

Charlotte Kasl, 'if the Buddha dated'


slyyder: (Default)

December 2010

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