When you push on the things that make you afraid--when you deliberately expose yourself to those things--you rob them of their power. On the other hand, when you give in to those fears, or (worse yet) when you pass relationship rules designed to hide the things you're afraid of--"No kissing when I am around!"--you reinforce those fears, and you allow them to control your life. Building your life around your fears is not an effective strategy for leading a happy life; and maneuvering your partner's behavior around your fears is not a good strategy for building a happy relationship..

tacit / Franklin Veaux

How to Become a Secure Person

well been around still, but quiet here on LJ... but am still alive :-)

and as has probably been noted from the last few posts am back to my reading and growing and exploring mode... and will probably be doing this a little more often, re-quoting passages, paragraphs etc from whatever I am reading on here so I can come back to them later... at the moment there is a few and they are coming regularly, that may or may not continue...

However I know not everyone wants to see or read repeats like that, especially if coming regularly... so am happy to set up a filter and keep them under that if anyone would prefer. Leave a comment if either you want to make sure you do get included if they become filtered, and/or if you would rather I kept them to a locked filter. Comments are screened and will be kept private.

Now back to actually doing some real work...

{edit} you know what, I hate the hassle of screened replies, and dont know why I was so self concious so as to do that in the first place, so am changing that. If you would rather say something not public then just message or email me.

Our concept that the sun rises is an illusion because the sun is still and we increasingly see it on the horizon as the earth turns towards the east. To play with this idea, the next time you watch the "sun rise" shift your focus and imagine yourself sitting on the earth as it turns toward the east with the sun coming into view. You can do the reverse with a sunset. The deeper purpose of this exploration is to get in the habit of rattling your mind and always entertaining the idea that a different perspective exists, possibly one beyond your comprehension. To get beyond your stuck place you repeatedly ask "Is there some bigger truth beyond my grasp that I am unable to see from where I am standing?".

Charlotte Kasl, If the Bhudda Got Stuck

When you get upset, afraid, or obsessed, it's not bad, it's a message. Sometimes it's a scream from within saying Notice me, stop hiding from me, I need your attention. Become fascinated by and curious about your inner world, bring minute-to-minute awareness of your judgements, reactions,fears, and hurts, without shame or saying "I shouldn't feel that way." How you feel is how you feel, what you think is what you think. Instead of stopping the flow of those thoughts and feelings, be with them, observe them, explore their origins. They are your teachers. All transformation starts from awareness.

Charlotte Kasl, 'if the Buddha dated'