Compliment? Or something else?
Dec. 25th, 2006 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
slyyderWas chatting with one of the young 19-20 somethings at work the other day, and somehow the subject of age came up, specifically mine... and she didn't believe i was 35, even had to pull out my drivers license and show her! (ok dont think I HAD to go to that extent but did anyway lol) No she said she had always assumed i was only in my early 20's...
Now my reaction in thinking on that floated netween two points... do I take it as a compliment, particularly on a pure physical level? Or do I feel a little concerned that I must act so immature or whatever to be taken as that age? Or I guess just try and accept a balance between the two...
I know that in at least some ways I am not as, well, matured or experienced as many people in their mid 30's... I've never been married or heavily involved/committed relationship wise, no kids, no house etc etc... no real long term career development... not that any of those things are a major concern, thats just me and where my life has taken me so far... But I certainly dont live and party and play up like the usual guy in his early 20's... but then to be honest I never did that even when I was in my early 20's... but if being honest, then yeah I guess aside from the partying aspect a lot of my view of life right now, and mindset, and desire, and even experience, is more in line with someone in their say mid 20's as opposed to someone 10 years older... if only i could get back to having the body of a 25 year old :-(
Now dont take this wrong, I am me and besides the usual small things we all have am happy with myself and my life and who I am, and how I got here, and wouldnt change the past even if it was possible... and I dont hang on the thoughts or opinions of others, not ahead of how I feel about me... but the way others view you can have an effect, particularly when talking in terms of mere facts and figures as opposed to people getting to know you personally... about what they may see on either an online dating profile or in a few brief chats/meetings as opposed to really getting to know people. I know I am a good, kind, positive person worth knowing, once people take the time to... but maybe they dont always take that time, and maybe its some of those issues that are behind that...
I mean for someone who is looking more for someone in their mid to late 30's, they may be put off by many other aspects of me, my mindset, my job/career situation, relationship history, whatever... while for someone who is similar to me on many other ways may see the age and just turn off purely on that aspect alone... now I have always said and do believe that age is just a number, and only one factor and part of what makes a person who they are, and while it is something to be considered should not be a hard limit, a factor to write someone off on purely on its own... age gaps can be a big indicator to many potential issues sure, but if other aspects work well and are in place then many of the age issues can be managed and worked through...
But it is still very easy to react otherwise, and I saw that even in my own mind today, when at one of the christmas gatherings my dads younger brother (who would still be in his late 40's or early 50's) arrived with his new partner who I had been told about earlier and who is actually younger than my brother (placing her in her 20's)... now granted there is a difference between a generational 20-30 year age gap here as opposed to say a 10 year gap between 25 to 35... but my initial reaction was "no this isnt right"... without even taking any other issues or aspects or possibilities into consideration... for many, rightly or wrongly, that is our initial reaction when viewed purely on those aspects and time is not taken to get to know the people behind the numbers or whatever...
Which gets me back to my earlier point of how people view and react to me based just on the numbers and facts rather than who I am... but then who am I anyway? I dont know... sometimes i think an old quote of Winston Churchill's works best, that of "a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma"... now ok he was talking about Russia at the time which may not be the best comparison lol but hey... but it is something that needs to be kept in mind, especially when dealing with online profiles etc where so much is on pure facts and figures and numbers as opposed to taking ongoing time dealing with and getting to knowing the person themselves... but I guess even to a point this does still flow over in to RT meetings and interactions as well...
Not sure where I have gone with this, save maybe just a chance to ramble out some stream of conciousness type post on all sorts of matters... or maybe it was purely just the ego in me wanting to post and boast about being taken as only being in my early 20's!!!
Now my reaction in thinking on that floated netween two points... do I take it as a compliment, particularly on a pure physical level? Or do I feel a little concerned that I must act so immature or whatever to be taken as that age? Or I guess just try and accept a balance between the two...
I know that in at least some ways I am not as, well, matured or experienced as many people in their mid 30's... I've never been married or heavily involved/committed relationship wise, no kids, no house etc etc... no real long term career development... not that any of those things are a major concern, thats just me and where my life has taken me so far... But I certainly dont live and party and play up like the usual guy in his early 20's... but then to be honest I never did that even when I was in my early 20's... but if being honest, then yeah I guess aside from the partying aspect a lot of my view of life right now, and mindset, and desire, and even experience, is more in line with someone in their say mid 20's as opposed to someone 10 years older... if only i could get back to having the body of a 25 year old :-(
Now dont take this wrong, I am me and besides the usual small things we all have am happy with myself and my life and who I am, and how I got here, and wouldnt change the past even if it was possible... and I dont hang on the thoughts or opinions of others, not ahead of how I feel about me... but the way others view you can have an effect, particularly when talking in terms of mere facts and figures as opposed to people getting to know you personally... about what they may see on either an online dating profile or in a few brief chats/meetings as opposed to really getting to know people. I know I am a good, kind, positive person worth knowing, once people take the time to... but maybe they dont always take that time, and maybe its some of those issues that are behind that...
I mean for someone who is looking more for someone in their mid to late 30's, they may be put off by many other aspects of me, my mindset, my job/career situation, relationship history, whatever... while for someone who is similar to me on many other ways may see the age and just turn off purely on that aspect alone... now I have always said and do believe that age is just a number, and only one factor and part of what makes a person who they are, and while it is something to be considered should not be a hard limit, a factor to write someone off on purely on its own... age gaps can be a big indicator to many potential issues sure, but if other aspects work well and are in place then many of the age issues can be managed and worked through...
But it is still very easy to react otherwise, and I saw that even in my own mind today, when at one of the christmas gatherings my dads younger brother (who would still be in his late 40's or early 50's) arrived with his new partner who I had been told about earlier and who is actually younger than my brother (placing her in her 20's)... now granted there is a difference between a generational 20-30 year age gap here as opposed to say a 10 year gap between 25 to 35... but my initial reaction was "no this isnt right"... without even taking any other issues or aspects or possibilities into consideration... for many, rightly or wrongly, that is our initial reaction when viewed purely on those aspects and time is not taken to get to know the people behind the numbers or whatever...
Which gets me back to my earlier point of how people view and react to me based just on the numbers and facts rather than who I am... but then who am I anyway? I dont know... sometimes i think an old quote of Winston Churchill's works best, that of "a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma"... now ok he was talking about Russia at the time which may not be the best comparison lol but hey... but it is something that needs to be kept in mind, especially when dealing with online profiles etc where so much is on pure facts and figures and numbers as opposed to taking ongoing time dealing with and getting to knowing the person themselves... but I guess even to a point this does still flow over in to RT meetings and interactions as well...
Not sure where I have gone with this, save maybe just a chance to ramble out some stream of conciousness type post on all sorts of matters... or maybe it was purely just the ego in me wanting to post and boast about being taken as only being in my early 20's!!!
