An open letter to my friends, current and past (and future)

Something I need to get off my chest.... just so I can move on... may or may not be accurate, may be me imagining things or making mountains out of molehills, but feel the need to say it anyway...

I know I can be a pain at times... too pushy, too clingy, bugging people, pushing for a response or attention, needy, clingy... then start whining n moaning when I dont get the response or whatever... then at other times I can appear cold and distant, uninterested (unless the topic is sex or am trying to get in someones pants or something) or disinterested and uncaring... at times I can chat peoples ears off, at others you'll struggle to get a word out of me (and that can change from minute to minute as well)... all this am sure has and can infuriate people, even to the point of driving them away...

to any who have felt hurt by any of that, annoyed, frustrated, uncared for, pushed away, or have moved off... am sorry... I do truly care for all my friends, online and off, and the last thing I would want to do is cause pain or conflict or make anyone feel they need to leave or break contact or step away from me... I do care bout my friends, even if I dont always show it or if my actions or words show something else or leave people feeling... well whatever...

Last thing I want to do is lose any friends... force them to step back or away... and would love to get back some of those I feel have stepped back or have lost touch with...

if any of you ever do feel any of the above, then please, tell me, let me know... dont stand back, or back away, or hide... if you feel am being an ass, tell me... if you feel I am being uncaring or insensitive towards you, let me know... if you feel am being to, well, male, focussing just on sex or sexual chat or matters, to the expense of other factors, then please get up in my face, slap some sense into me, and let me know...

I am not an uncaring insensitive person, I do know I need to change and adapt in some ways, just sometimes I need a hand, need to know what you, the people I care about, are thinking and feeling, need to share and communicate so we can work through problems together *S*

I dont like loosing any friendship, I care bout all those who have touched my life, and would love to keep you all in my life in some way or another, to some level... I know that's not always possible, that sometimes people do drift apart and move on, that's part of life, and if that's the way it goes, so be it, good luck with wherever your life takes you, and I wish you all the pleasure and happiness in life in whatever way it comes...

But I also know at times people drift apart just because one or the other let it, didn't make the effort, gave up... so consider this an effort to mend any partly damaged bridges, to try and retrieve and salvage the salvageable, not just stay quiet and let things fall apart, like can happen in any relationship if people dont make an effort... to any willing to listen to this, to me putting my heart on my sleeve and letting me emotions show, who is willing to take this and listen, then thank you, and I look forward to a long and blossoming friendship *S*

Or maybe this is just another example of me rambling and dribbling crap *S*